David Lynch Leaves Me With More Questions Than Answers

My fellow Twin Peaks Blog author and close friend Vinnie Guidera was first to share the news with me – David Lynch had passed. I knew this day was inevitable as our time on Earth is limited. Nevertheless, the news of his death has left me with more questions than answers, something that would have brought a smile to Mr. Lynch’s face.

WHY DID YOU GO?

For the record, I never met David Lynch. I saw him from afar when he spoke at the Festival of Disruption held in May 2018 in Brooklyn, New York.

Everyone was required to place mobile devices into bags during his talk with Paul Holdengraber. I have plenty of mental pictures of his hands, cutting the air slowly as he discussed creativity, Transcendental Meditation and things that made him happy. At one point, I counted him flexing his hands 42 times as he shared details about his Art Life – coffee, cigarettes, and plenty of projects.

“True happiness is not out there, true happiness is within,” he exclaimed to the crowd gathered at Brooklyn Steel.

Before August 1993, I didn’t know David Lynch. But a borrowed vinyl soundtrack and VHS from a local library of his 1990 film Wild at Heart changed my relationship. I was quickly introduced to his world – mysterious dark corners, surreal characters and things I had never before seen from my then sheltered Catholic life. I couldn’t get enough.

WHY DID YOU TURN AWAY FROM ME?

Wanting more, I discovered the soundtrack to the television series, Twin Peaks. I missed the original ABC Television broadcast and only vaguely remember hearing about the show. In September 1993, only the International version of the Twin Peaks pilot was available on VHS, along with the series’ first seven episodes and his 1992 follow up film, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me.

I watched them all, inadvertently answering the question to “Who killed Laura Palmer?”, all while playing hooky from my senior year of high school. His work was formative to my being throughout college and lead to more than three-decade fascination of the wonderful and strange show he created with Mark Frost.

Twin Peaks led to seeing his other films in college – Blue Velvet, Eraserhead and even Dune. Seeing Kyle MacLachlan’s character Jeffrey Beaumont reluctantly go on a joy ride with Dennis Hopper’s Frank Booth on one of three movie screens of the small arthouse Drexel Theatre in Columbus, Ohio is something I’ll never forget.

WHEN ALL THE WORLD SEEMED TO SING, WHY, WHY DID YOU GO?

There was always one moment in his works that left me dumbfounded. In Twin Peaks, it was the Red Room sequence with its backward talking and unanswered clues about Laura Palmer’s murder. In Mulholland Drive, it was Rebekah Del Rio performing Roy Orbison’s “Crying” in Spanish before she suddenly drops on stage. It was Alvin Straight waiting for a moment before trying to start his lawn mower again and reunite with his brother Lyle. In Inland Empire, well, it is the whole film I’m still trying to figure out years later.

But being unable to solve a mystery is something Lynch loved – not everything needs an answer and there is no one correct answer.

“Films mean something to me but I don’t need to explain what it means,” he shared at the 2018 Festival of Disruption. “The film is the thing, there is no need to talk about it. There is a different feeling with every screening based on who attends the screening.”

Can I be comfortable with not knowing something? Am I okay leaving a mystery unresolved? Lynch seemed to be comfortable living in the gray even when societal pressures constantly push for answers.

“I like stories that hold abstractions,” he mused in Brooklyn, New York.

After years of studying, viewing and enjoying his works, I like those abstract stories too.

WAS IT ME? WAS IT YOU?

So now the great one has passed. There will never be another like him. Those surreal artistic visuals paired with stories about people in trouble will forever inspire me while haunting my dreams. His book “Images,” with photographs of machinery and nudes in smoke, inspired me to pick up a camera in the 1990s.

But more importantly, David inspired conversation. He wanted people to gather, share, discuss and dream. He didn’t want to answer questions about his works because an answer ends the conversation.

Without David in my life, I would have never met some of the most incredible people I know. My best friend Joe Neff and I bonded over him while in high school. Decades later, we still discuss cinema. Fellow Bookhouse Boys and Gals like Vinnie, Dugpa, Karl, Mary, Anita, Aaron, Mike, Brad, Travis, Courtenay, Scott, Collin, Jason, Josh, Jeff, Jill, John, Jeremiah (a lot of “Js”) and so many more from all over the world have been a joyous part of my life because of David Lynch. I’ve met wonderful townspeople in Snoqualmie Valley who have welcomed fans for three and a half decades because of him.

So while I never met David Lynch, I feel like I’ve known him forever. Thank you David for the many blue-hued questions that may never be answered, as I know they will keep the fire of creativity burning forever.

My sincere condolences to David’s family, friends, and loved ones. Please know you are in my thoughts.